By Susan Orosco

SoulmateDid you know not all soul-mates are romantic relationships? Soul-mates are souls who gravitate

toward each other and experience life together during different lifetimes. You will have as many soul-mates as you need to fulfill your life’s purpose. There is no limit to the amount of soul-mates you will encounter.

They can come into your life in many different forms such as: parents, children, cousins, in-laws and significant others. In this article we will discuss romantic soul-mates and whether or not your mate is a soul-mate.

Clue #1 – Did You Have Strong Feelings When You First Met?

You can identify a soul-mate if you had strong feelings when you first met. The feeling could have been negative or positive. If it was a negative feeling, that usually indicates an unresolved past life issue, and that soul shows up to help you clear a stumbling block in your psyche.

If the feeling was positive, like love, or a feeling of belonging (like being home), that indicates a past life soul who shows up in your life to help you, love you and care for you. But this particular soul must be earned. He or she cannot come into your life if you are not ready. Sometimes the ‘negative’ soul is there to prepare you for the one who comes when your spiritual strength matures.

What if the first feeling you had when you met was passionate? Would that make the feeling negative or positive? If you both gravitate together keep in mind passion and sexual attraction can start out very positive, loving and powerful but very often can crash. Yet, even this experience can be considered a soul-mate. But the brief encounter was not meant to last for very long. The lesson was strong and sharp.

But let me elaborate on how a ‘negative’ soul-mate can be good for you.

Clue #2 – Is Your Significant Other Obsessed with Pushing Your Buttons?

Contrary to popular belief, most soul-mates are not meant to rescue you, but to push your buttons. They are here to help you grow spiritually, and sometimes that hurts.

They will, often without knowing, reflect your weakness, your limitations, and your prejudices right back to you. In other words, they are here to send you back to yourself so you can take a closer look at your inner being. Spiritual growth can only come as you look inward, explore and redirect your path. The goal all souls have, and offer to each other, is to accept ourselves just as we are. A soul-mate who says you are not good enough is directing you to challenge that notion.

Keep in mind that just as your partner is here to teach you, you are also here to teach your partner. You will be able to measure your success if your relationship is healing. If the experiences keep repeating themselves and nothing is learned, then spiritual growth is inhibited. That is why you may feel defeated or unsatisfied at the end of most love affairs.

Clue #3 – You are strongly drawn to a relationship you don’t understand

You may have been drawn to a relationship that is unfulfilling, uncomfortable and challenging. It can often be the opposite of what you expected. It may have started really great, but somehow ended up being far too difficult. Yet, you don’t want to leave.

On one hand your partner can be very attractive, desirable and loving, yet you hate the other side of that person who causes so much havoc in your life. What keeps you in the relationship?

Chemical attraction.

Unresolved issues send out these chemicals to attract the one who will help you find resolution. If the relationship fails to address the issue and you walk away, the unresolved issues will follow you. They will continue to surface and create ties that bind you to men or women who will challenge you. That’s usually the reason it is hard to break up, there is a strong energy that keeps you both together until the issue is resolved.

If you and your partner find it hard to walk away when you think you should, pay attention. There is a lesson to be learned here. But don’t be fooled, this is not love. Love is not the strong energy you feel that keeps you coming back to each other. What you feel is nothing more than the magnetic pull of unresolved issues.

Walking away from a partner who has resurfaced an unresolved issue won’t make the issue go away. The energy will instead cause you to attract the same personality again and again until the lesson is learned. It will be a different face, but same lesson. Does this sound familiar?

A true and loving relationship is able to face any challenge together and help each other with their weaknesses, character defects and fears. The ultimate soul-mate will be your partner in solving your unresolved issues and helping you grow spiritually. You will also do the same for your partner. Unresolved issues can be recognized and mutually addressed by both of you. There will be no strong feelings here, only deep love for each other. A good way to measure your spiritual progress is when you both feel really good about who you are. And you like being with your partner.

I listed three of the most common unresolved issues below. You may recognize them, or maybe they will trigger a subject within you that needs to be addressed.

  1. Fear of being alone. This fear can be resolved by accepting its presence and facing it. Instead of being angry at your mate for not spending enough time with you, acknowledge the emotion and feel it. Once resolved you will decide if you want to stay with your partner or move on. But you will do it with a clear conscience and strong conviction.
  2. Low self-esteem. This self-identity can be resolved when you intentionally look to your past and find your successes. If you need more successes, create them. It doesn’t matter how small they are, the more personal victories you have, the more you will value yourself and you will increase your self-esteem.
  3. Lack of self-trust. This unresolved issues shows up by trying to trust others and not trust yourself. If you think you need a significant other because you need to depend on him or her, think again. That’s a lot of responsibility to put on someone else. This responsibility shift will continue to be an issue that needs to be solved. You are a great soul, as we all are, and you have the spiritual right to trust yourself and believe in yourself. Let this issue be healed and reap the benefits.

Understand there are many types of unresolved issues. Deal with the issue that is screaming the loudest in your life at this time. Pay attention to the friction that’s going on between you and your partner. And deal with each subject one at a time. Look for your buttons, feel them and validate them.

If you need help resolving your issues, find a good therapist, counselor or Emotional Freedom Technique professional (like me) and enjoy the thrills of moving past your old blocks and limitations, and have a joyful time growing spiritually.

For more information about E.F.T. (Emotional Freedom Techniques) you can contact me at